Subway Pose
Stand with your feet apart, extend right arm towards subway pole avoiding fellow passenger. Releasing neck away from shoulder, twist your head to the right and remove your neighbor's product-filled hair from your mouth. Place your artfully distressed work bag between legs and squeeze.
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Crying G Train Baby Pose
Keep feet fixed in position and hold Subway Pose. Tilt head towards floor. Place your palm on your forehead. Take deep breaths. Lift arches. Beginners modification: turn up volume on ipod.
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Downtown Dog
Curl spine forward while hunching shoulders towards ears. Extend thumbs. Type out another text message to your ex-boyfriend Scott, who lives on Orchard Street. Remind him you would like to get your stuff. Contemplate the interconnectedness of all living beings. Except, of course, Scott.
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Croissant Lunge Pose
Raise your left elbow and extend your right arm towards the last gluten free chocolate croissant. Breathe. Take it even if that lady was probably here first.
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Skyscraper Pose
Stand on the Brooklyn waterfront examining the skyline. Keep your feet apart. Consider the compromises you've made. Lean forward. You're no Joan Didion. Lean backwards. Maybe you should have stayed in Sacramento?
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Thumb Opener
Using your thumb, open every dating app on your phone. Cross legs. Tilt head towards screen. Type “hey” to strange men for at least thirty minutes. Maintain a continuous flow of swipes and disappointment. Advanced modification: Try to see if you can find Scott’s profile, or any profiles with pictures of headless torsos that might be Scott!
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Fire Escape Pose
Listen to the sound of your breathing as you smoke a cigarette from the pack of Gauloises Scott brought you back from Paris last summer that you’ve been keeping in the freezer. Keep your shoulder blades moving down your back.
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Kvetch 1
Press elbows against ribs. Raise shoulders. Extend forearms horizontally. Open hands. Tilt head to side slightly. Begin 3 rounds of chanting “He still hasn't replied. Can you believe it?” to your best friend Anne.
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Kvetch 2
Tilt your head backwards to look towards the sky. Turn palms upwards. Begin 3 rounds of chanting “I Can’t F-ing Believe It!”
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Bar Bind
Stand on tip toes. Lift out of your hips and fold forward over the bar. Pick up the bottle of Canadian Club and put it into Anne’s purse. Remember, you’re not paying 13 dollars for a drink just so this stupid Brooklyn bar can keep itself in edison light bulbs!
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Inverted Table Pose
Flip over a table on your way out of the bar. Be sure to protect your lower spine.
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Why Did You Take The Williamsburg Bridge? Pose
In a cab after a long night of drinking lean back in a seated position. Maintain tightness throughout your body. Release eyes and roll them into back of head. Take deep breath and begin 3 rounds of “I said THE MANHATTAN BRIDGE!”
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Bell Pose
Stand at the front of Scott's lobby doormat with your feet together. Using your palm, buzz all the apartments in the building, repeatedly. Switch palms.
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Pigeon Pose
Lay down on the sidewalk.
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Bagel Pose
Curl into a ball. Realize a hole has been punched in your chest where your heart should be.
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Kvetch 3
Stand. Roll head up towards the sky and chant “sigh” at least five times. Beginners modification: Using a block, throw it through Scott’s window.
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.
Bus Pose
In a seated position, twist your spine to the right and look over your shoulder to see if you've missed your stop. Remember not to breathe through your nose. Don’t forget that you’re going nowhere.
By: Steven Valentino, writing; Isaak Liptzin, photography; Jon Schober, model; Louise Ma, illustration; Alan Palazzolo, interactive.

Try These New York City-Inspired Yoga Poses

Before engaging in New York City Yoga, be sure to remove any padding. Pain builds character!